Happy Friday, Munchers! 🙏

It's the home stretch of the week - hope you have a lovely day and your weekend partying kicks off well.

As always, here is your daily dose of the news that matters, from Wall Street to Dalal Street - in 5 minutes and 18 seconds.

Yesterday, ExxonMobil earmarked $50 billion to buy shares back, commodity traders cut some massive paychecks, and PhonePe tackled funding slowdown. 🔥

Let’s dive in.

What's hot, what's not?

Market Commentary

• The Fed's insane demand destruction seems to be working. The number of Americans filing for unemployment aid has increased to the highest level since February. The labour market might be cooling down.

• Someone said that there are two staples in life. Death and taxes. The EU just unveiled plans to collect about $18 billion more in taxes as they spam more VAT. 😔

• Asian stocks rallied as investors eyed the CCP's plans to lift curbs on, well, living. The Hang Seng was up about 4%, with broad gains everywhere.

Story Roundup

1 - Exxon smashes profits and buys back more shares. 🙄

Talk about stinking rich.

Six weeks back, American oil major Exxon posted their highest profit ever recorded in 150_ years.

And they're now kicking some cash back to investors.

Exxon will now buy back over $50 billion of their own stock in the next 2 years, a 70% increase from their previous plans.

Everything is bigger in Texas. 🤷

2 - Commodity traders reap billion dollar paydays. 💸

It pays well to ride the wave, and commodity trader Trafigura has had a blowout year.

They made about $7 billion in profits, which is more than their last four years combined.

Volatility and disruptions that set markets alight played into commodity kings' favour, with their direct rivals also reporting blockbuster earnings.

Trafigura also paid out $1.7 billion in dividends, most of which are used to directly buy back shares from employees, putting more $$$ in their pockets.

Insane. 🤯

3 - PhonePe catapults into the payments scene. 📲

While all hell breaks loose, we might have a new entrant into the echelons of India's startup scene.

Walmart-owned digital payments brand PhonePe is scouting for folks who write big checks.

They're seeking quite a hefty round - seeking $1 billion at a $13 billion valuation.

From reports, they've been speaking to all sorts of people. You name it, they're one it - Tiger Global, Qatar Investment Authority, even Microsoft.

If all goes well, this will put PhonePe well ahead of most other payments businesses and give them a very healthy pool of cash to fall back on.

Big money. 🤩

4 - Blackstone shrugs off mammoth concerns. 🦣

Blackstone's funds are hitting a giant roadblock.

Their $50 billion private credit fund made them a market leader in leveraged lending, but their wealthiest investors are now pulling their cash.

Nerves are on edge for the future for funds. The private credit fund in question hit their quarterly withdrawal limit of 5%, and it looks like there is more to come.

It's crazy, since a few days back, Blackstone announced that they honoured only 43% of all investor requests to redeem funds.

Turmoil on the cards? 🤔

5 - Beijing faces a dire future. 😰

The clock is ticking in Beijing.

Hospitals are running out of fever medication and queues at testing centers are winding down the block as China's healthcare system gets strained.

COVID is blitzkrieg-ing it's way into Chinese households, and it's a scary sight to behold.

The FT modelled a risk of over 1 million people falling into critical condition due to an impending "winter wave" in the coming months.

Plus, tens of millions are expected to travel home for the lunar New Year, which is gonna make things even worse and spread COVID to unprotected rural villages.

Most of China has never been infected with COVID, and has only received China-produced vaccines, which suck in comparison with the Pfizers of the world.

Sticky situation. 😔

A few nibbles from Pasiv 🍪

Investing can be difficult, or it can be passive!

As the little guy, you’re up against - - the computer that is faster than you - the fund that has more money than you - the insider with more information than you

So it's no surprise that 90% of retail investors lose 90% of their money within their first 90 days of trading.

Pasiv wants to give you an edge.

They're Dubai's hottest fintech, and their goal is simple; provide long term investors with a platform to invest responsibly and manage risk better. That means things like in-app chat support, a passive income builder, a portfolio backtest engine, ESG filters and more.

Pasiv is here to help you build wealth. Their membership package comes with access to exclusive finance meetups, a basket of 5000+ stocks, fractional shares, and ETFs, all at zero commission.

The suits don’t need to win every time.

Check 'em out here.

PS - Investing involves risk. Conduct your own research before you invest. Pasiv Financial Ltd is regulated by the DFSA.

Hope you enjoyed this issue of the Market Munch. If you've got any feedback - good or bad (😏) you can hit reply to this email. Thanks a ton for reading!

You might also wanna follow up on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Instagram.

Cheers, and have a lovely day. 🙏

Aryaansh